Trigger Warning!

July 23, 2018... our twins Lily Jean and Luca Joseph were born at 8:05 and 8:07 am. Lily, born first, was whisked away to be checked out while Luca was born, cleaned, swaddled and handed over to us. I had waited 9 months -2 years really- for this moment. Due to having a c-section and basically being looped up, I didn’t really know and understand what was taking place with our daughter, but I remember looking back on the experience realizing, I never got to meet my her, nor did Nick get to hold her like he did Luca. They told us she was having trouble breathing and that she needed to be monitored a little while in the NICU... I thought nothing of it, she’d be with us soon.

We weren’t allowed to see her for quite some time, primarily due to space or lack there of in the NICU, apparently there were multiple TWIN births that day and the unit was packed. They never even put her in a cubicle, she had been doing “fine”. The pediatrician on staff told us Lily needed to be supervised overnight, they’d watch her levels, she would need to keep her glucose and temp up, pretty much normal things...

I didn’t meet my daughter till about 2:30am of my birthday, July 24. Lily latched on like a champ, I couldn’t believe it. She was perfect, super blonde hair, blue eyes, cute as could be. We said our goodbyes and headed back to the room. After all, we still had Luca to tend to and I was determined to breastfeed these twins, even for a short while!!!

My birthday came and went, pretty uneventful except for nearly passing out, thank goodness for my husband and wonderful nurse...
I had a call from the NICU that Lily was doing well, had some tests that needed to be ran and that the pediatrician had heard a small heart murmur with Lily. They said it didn’t seem alarming but that they needed to take caution and order her an echo... with that said they gave me the news, Lily would not be joining us in our room for mommy’s birthday. While not the worst news in the world, having birthed twins, the hormones and lack of sleep, I cried. I received another call later on that the echo could not be done till morning and that perhaps they would send Lily up for the night, she was doing so well♥. July 25, our baby girl was diagnosed with Tetralogy of Fallot.

Tomorrow, hubby and I will be meeting with Lily’s surgeon and this Friday we will hand our baby over to this surgeon to fix our baby’s heart. While I have faith and all the support in the world, I am dying inside. It’s been a rough road these past 3 months. Between the depression, hormones, irritability, lack of sleep, we’ve made it and baby girl will have her full repair.

I ask you to continue thinking of us and praying for our Lily. She’s so strong and amazing, our little HEART WARRIOR ♥!